The Wit and Wisdom of Lisa
 

 
See also Cures for Those Nasty BB Withdrawals

These two pages were the start of what has become dingo's Hamsterwatch


  • in her chat:
    "If given the opportunity, I would really have rather listened to myself instead of Danielle when it came time to vote for Chiara and to vote for Roddy. I would have liked to have given Chiara the two votes that she wanted and to give Roddy one vote so that he knew that it wasn't personal."
    (the first 4 words are the good part)

  • the chat winding up:
    (reading aloud) "anything else you want to say to Big Brother fans, Lisa?"
    her answer: "Just thank you for being my fans"

  • "I don't think my voice sounds human. It sounds machine-operated"

  • "CBS edited Sheryl Crow to look like she spent more time with the HG's than she really did"
    (uhhh those editors are tricky but how would that work?)

  • Lisa: I think I might take a nap
    Dani: Are you tired?
    Lisa: I don't know

  • planning a skit about all the HGs: "I think we should stage a fight, but put in every phrase we've said in the house"

  • "Have you ever had tongue? It has the texture of tongue but has a sauce on it"

  • Dani: So you think you're just gonna have one child?
    Lisa: I've been told that my whole life
    and a bit later..
    Lisa: I feel bad for that child. They should have brothers or sisters

  • after Jason let out a whoop: "you woke up the neighbors"

  • about her first trip to McDonald's after BB:
    "I think I'm actually going to cry when I have my cheeseburger right here, my fries right there"

  • "I didn't even think about it, the words were already in my brain"

  • "I smell a skunk all of a sudden - are you guys smoking skunk back there?"

  • (comparing notes with Dani about alliances):
    "For some reason I want to say it was part instinct and part I heard it"

  • "I can't tell if I'm tired or not"

  • "They just take the rib cage out and cook it??"

  • "If I talk in circles, just tell me I'm doing a good job"

  • "What's cornbread dressing?"

  • "What are scallops?"

  • "What's a plum?"

  • "What's pralines? Isn't a praline a vegetable?"

  • "Potatoes don't grow on trees??"

  • "Is sage a color? What color is it? Is it green?"

  • "I may not be the brightest cookie in the box but I'm the tastiest"

  • "Mushrooms aren't a vegetable"

  • "Is this my skull?" (pointing to her head)

  • "Life is like a box of Cadaver Chocolates"

  • "I can't wait to get a hold of my future husband. Because there are positions I want to try"

  • "Have you heard that new album by Michael Jackson called Dangerous?"

  • "It's not fair, the other (evicted) HGs get to see tapes and get a souvenir... wait, that's not right, I mean questionnaire, right?"

  • (about praying "manthis"): "You can get them as pets, right?"

  • "I want to be tired but my brain is working too fast"

  • "My stomach has so many different acids turning in it"

  • Lisa: One night I heard a conversation you had with Gerry

    Dani: You did?

    Lisa: Yeah you thought you were alone and nobody could hear you. You were both sitting in the living room, talking quietly. I was in the HOH and I looked through the blinds... I saw you both so I got down like this (laying down on the floor flat on her stomach) and I had my ear to the door and I listened to you both HAHAHA!

    Dani: Really?? What were we saying?

    Lisa: I don't know. I couldn't hear you.

  • (to Dani) "I know you're going to talk to Eric at the cast party, but could you doubly talk to him for me?"

  • Lisa (on naming children): Wouldn't Javier like a Junior?
    Dani: Ooooooo noooooo!
    Lisa: 'Cause I was gonna say Javier could be his middle name

  • "I love dating guys who aren't used to dating girls like me"

  • "Well they told me that I would be verbally told"

  • Dani: Maybe Roddy is only 30
    Lisa: Hmmm I don't know... but like if Roddy is 30 and doesn't even know my ex-boyfriend, it just doesn't seem right. It's just not right

  • "I have the worst circulation in the world.. my feet need to be amputated right now"

  • "I have a phone number in my head, but I can't remember if it's mine or my ex-boyfriend's"

  • (going to sleep): "I can never get comfortable, I feel like I have one too many arms"

  • (sipping wine) "Tastes like water... tastes like Kool-Aid"

  • Lisa: What do you sleep in when you go home?

    Dani: I usually sleep in pajamas but Javier doesn't wear anything... I just couldn't do that

    Lisa: Why?

    Dani: Well I have things like breasts and a big booty and just in case I was sleeping like this (lays on her belly and sticks her butt high and out of the covers) just in case the kids came in and woke me up for something

    Lisa: What, you don't sleep with any underwear on??

    Dani: (pause) No, I sleep with my pajamas on... I was just saying

  • Lisa: I don't like (being called) Li-Li
    Dani: You don't? Why didn't you tell Jason not to call you that then?
    Lisa: Because it was cute when he said it

  • "I think my mind is just getting a little bit too creatative"

  • "Is Mormons where you can have all the wives you want? Or is that the religion where they cut out holes in the sheets?"

  • Dani: Have you ever seen Yentl?
    Lisa: Yes. No.

  • (about school) "Test by test and semester by semester I'd do great. But when it came time for finals I'd lose it"
    (finals weren't part of semesters where she went to school?)

  • (pointing to her elbow) "I have this one hair that's super super long, it's so cute. My dad has one just like it so I keep it"

  • "1/3 of the United States... Roddy said that was at least 24 million"

  • "Who am I, I'm just a girl on a reality show. People have Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman to worry about"

  • (tasting dinner) "Oooh, it's salty!! Oh never mind, that's the lemon"

  • (attempting to counter Dani's having "birthed two babies")
    "Oh yea? Well I had open head surgery with no anesthetic"

  • "Forget about foreplay, sing me a little song"

  • "I used to think Victoria Secret catalog was like a dirty magazine, but I'd sneak and look at it anyway"

  • "Sometimes my brain works a little too much. It freaks me out"

  • (hearing a bird chirping) "Is that a real bird?"

  • exact quote lost in cyberspace, but Lisa thinks mice make the holes in Swiss cheese

  • "Why cant the President just fly on regular planes?"

  • Jason told Lisa that he was afraid that his brother posted Jason's baby pictures on Jason's website. Lisa then said how can her brother do that when AS (BB producer) owns the rights. Jason tried to explain to her that the pictures are his. She argued back that CBS held the rights. Jason then snapped at her repeating that the pictures are his family's. Lisa then asked if he was mad at her. Jason said he was OK.

  • "What is Walmart?"

  • "How do you get surf 'n turf delivered?" (while eating surf 'n turf meal.. in the BB house)

  • "I don't remember this... it seems like a memory"

  • "Oh, the camera just agreed with me!"

  • "My hair is turning blonde"

  • (about Tonya): "Her breasts kinda look realish"

  • (watching video of competitions): "I can't believe this is us"

  • "I need a bottom to wear with my top because I can't go bottomless"

  • "I wish they'd hurry up and make this day quicker"

  • "I want to be hungry, but I'm just not"

  • (about Chiara): "I never tried to overwhelm her or take her spotlight"

  • (to Jason, referring to herself): "You can wake up to this every morning if the price is right"

  • "I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. If I get up out of bed it's because I'm nervous and antsy. But if I need to go to the bathroom, I make myself go back to bed and wait until morning"

  • after final HOH Dani tells Lisa everything about her and Jason's alliance. Lisa says she knew all about it at week 2 or 3 and that Dani didn't tell her anything that she didn't already know
    Then after much comparing of notes Lisa says: "So what was your deal with Jason?"

  • (about evicted houseguests): "They have seen every tape except for tomorrow's"

  • planning to bake a cake (without a recipe): "I was thinking, do a nice, white, vanilla...ish cake"

  • Jason: are you going to bed Lisa?
    Lisa: I'm going to get ready and wander into the bedroom

  • (in a post-show interview)
    Q: Which would be more important to you - a family or a career?
    Lisa: A career so I could support my family

  • (on Regis & Kelly)
    Kelly: Did you have any privacy at all? Not even when you went to the bathroom?
    Lisa: No, there were cameras in the bathroom but supposedly they weren't on unless two or more people went into the bathroom
    Kelly: You know they are lying
    Lisa: Don't tell me that, 'cause I went through three months of going to the bathroom

  • and of course, everyone's all-time favorite: "He won me over when he said hi"
 
See also Cures for Those Nasty BB Withdrawals


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